A Hard Revelation
You ever hear of the phrase that a real friend will tell you the truth, even if it’s hard to hear? Well, I am honored to have two wonderful skating friends that told me a difficult truth recently.
One of my skating friends showed me a video of her new dramatic program, and I loved it. The choreography gave me chills. I noticed one thing about it that I would have changed and shared that with my friend (and also told her that it was a gorgeous program).
What came next was humbling and a difficult truth. She said that I often critiqued or criticized her videos and that it was hurtful at times. She wanted me to share in her excitement about the program and wasn’t looking for feedback. She had a coach whom she paid to do that, so in as kind of words as she could, she told me to back off.
Ouch.
When I approached another skating friend about a similar topic, she shared the same thing with me. She found that I often was too quick to point out the errors rather than share the excitement of having made progress.
Oof.
What I’ve realized is that while I prefer helpful hints and advice from others, they aren’t necessarily seeking the same from me. And it doesn’t help that I help coach skating classes at the rink, so this is something that I’m paid (and expected) to do.
I appreciate my friends’ honesty and want to be a better friend. I don’t want to be the person to burst another one’s bubble when they are happy about something. That’s the last thing I want to do. So unless someone is specifically asking for help, I’ll keep encouraging them along the way.
My heart comes from a good place, and I want to help my friends improve, but I’ve learned that while it’s something they appreciate and respect, they would rather me be a good friend rather than a coach in these instances.
Thank you to my friends who helped me realize this. You are true friends, and for that I am eternally grateful.
