Skating Fridays

Tribute To My MomAddie's second birthday

This is probably one of the hardest posts that I’ll ever have to write, so forgive me if I ramble or don’t make sense.

On Sunday, August 4, 2019, my mom passed away unexpectedly. I was on a plane en route to California and we were approaching the runway. For some unknown reason, I had both my phone and Wifi turned on. Typically, I put my phone in airplane mode but I didn’t that morning. My brother called, and I declined his call and told him I was on a plane. He wrote me and said PICK UP. 911. After I picked up the second time, he gave me the news.

I pushed my flight attendant button and within 30 seconds, someone stopped by. I told her about the phone call I just received and kindly asked if there was any way we could turn around so I could get off the plane to return home to my family. Since we were getting ready for takeoff, I didn’t think my chances were high.

Miraculously, the pilot got a hold of the control tower and received permission to return to the gate. He came on the PA system and made the announcement that we were heading back to the gate to let a passenger off. Once I got off the plane, I ugly cried all the way home, and my husband was packed and ready to make the drive up to see my family.

Addie and ahma

My brother and dad were waiting for me to arrive. That day was such a blur and the longest day of my life. We hugged a lot, and we cried even more. My brother and I took care of most of the arrangements and tried to keep my dad as busy as possible that week. Several friends sent me encouraging messages throughout the week and checked in on me, and their love kept me strong the day of my mom’s service. I only broke down and ugly cried once that day.

I cannot even begin to put into words the type of pain we are experiencing. Losing someone is already hard enough, but losing a parent is something on a whole new level.

To make this skating related (this is Skating Fridays, after all), I am going to skate a program in tribute to my mom. I had already planned on doing a new program, but now it has an even deeper and emotional meaning for me. At this point, I’m not ready to reveal it quite yet, but I do have a dress designed and in my possession. I’m just waiting for the choreography to be completed.

I already know that I will be a hot mess when I do finally skate the program, but I hope that it will make my mom proud.

To my mom – I love you, and I thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I hope that I continue to make you proud and miss you dearly. Until we meet again…

12 Comments

  1. Melissa
    August 16, 2019 / 12:40 pm

    So very, very sorry. My dad died unexpectedly, too, a couple of years ago at a fairly young age when he was in good health (sudden cardiac arrest). It is such a shock. Life will never be the same. I hope good memories will sustain you, and the program sounds like a wonderful tribute to your mom. My prayers are with you and your family. What a blessing that the pilot turned around for you; I doubt that happens very often!

    • evabakes
      Author
      August 17, 2019 / 5:45 am

      The entire crew of my Delta flight was amazing. The flight attendant was so sympathetic and supportive, and the gate agent event processed me a refund on the spot! There is still good in the world. 😄

  2. August 16, 2019 / 1:52 pm

    Dear Eva, I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing your mother is one of the very hardest experiences under any circumstances, and I can’t imagine how terrible this sudden news was. Wishing you some small comfort in knowing how much she loved you and how proud I’m sure she was of all your accomplishments, including your beautiful skating. I look forward to sharing your program. Remember, tears are a good thing.

    • evabakes
      Author
      August 17, 2019 / 5:47 am

      Thanks for the comforting words, Jo. My mom got to see me compete once, and it was the best skate I’ve had (up to that point). Next year, I will be competing at the same rink for Sectionals. I hope she comes to watch me again.

  3. George A.
    August 16, 2019 / 1:52 pm

    Sorry to learn of your loss. Loosing a parent is hard. I lost both of mine years ago. In time the pain recedes and the good memories dominate.

    • evabakes
      Author
      August 17, 2019 / 5:47 am

      Thank you for the kind words, George. I love and appreciate how the amazing skating community is always here to lift me up.

  4. August 16, 2019 / 6:22 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this, Eva, so devastating. I hope you are able to sleep and to eat, and I hope your husband is being really good to you.

    • evabakes
      Author
      August 17, 2019 / 5:48 am

      Oh yes – everyone is being so good and supportive, especially my husband and the entire skating community.

      • August 17, 2019 / 12:15 pm

        That is good to know. I hope doing the skating tribute to your Mom will help you through this time.

      • August 17, 2019 / 12:19 pm

        And also, it is amazing that they turned around the plane for you. I’m glad for that, that they cared about your well-being more than some abstract on-time flight metric. There is still some good in the world.

  5. June
    August 18, 2019 / 3:13 pm

    I share your grief, having lost my mom a long time ago, without warning. You have my deepest sympathy, but I know the loving memories you have of your mom will last a lifetime for you and Addie.

    • evabakes
      Author
      August 18, 2019 / 6:28 pm

      Thank you for those kind words, June. Losing a parent is a pain that nobody should ever experience this early in life. I think of my mom every day, as I’m sure you do too.

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